This post was most recently updated on November 13th, 2020
When you confront a cheater, it’s apparent that they will say a lot of things and refuse to admit to their wrongdoings.
It breaks your heart, knowing that your partner has been cheating on you. Instead of feeling sorry and confess their mistake, they just act as nothing has happened.
Even if you have caught them red-handed, they don’t like to admit that they are cheating on you.
They come up with some silly excuses and want you to forgive them.
Here are 7 things a cheater say when confronted. If you know what they are, you can get ready to beat them in their own game. Also, be prepared to ask the questions to your unfaithful partner.
I am writing this article considering the cheater as a “male.” If you are a male and got cheated by your partner (female), you can too pick up some ideas from this article.
It wasn’t me. It was her
“She seduced me. I didn’t want to do it, but I was helpless.”
He will always try to blame his affair with whom he cheated on you. He will try to act innocent and want to show you that he was being forced.
Your response should be:
“If you loved me enough, you would have never got seduced by her in the first place. You betrayed my trust. Don’t blame her. You alone are responsible for your actions.”
It was a moment of weakness
“I was feeling lonely, and she was there with me. We got close, and I couldn’t help it. Please don’t punish me forever for a moment of weakness.”
He will try to gain empathy from you. By saying, it was a moment of weakness, he is trying to put the blame on the situation and not on him.
Moment of weakness is when you are having a cold but couldn’t stay without eating ice-cream.
Cheating with your partner for your self-desire isn’t considered as a moment of weakness. That’s infidelity and dishonest.
You know what, he is a liar, and this is how you should response him:
“Stop talking bullshit. If you were feeling lonely, you could have called me. You could have hanging out with your other friends. But no! You had to cheat on me with her, and now you are looking for excuses. You are such a coward.”
It was just a onetime thing. I don’t have feelings for her.
“Please try to understand and forgive me. It was a moment of lust and nothing else. I don’t have feelings for her. It was just a onetime thing, and it will never happen again.”
This is one of a widespread thing a cheater says when he has been caught. I don’t love her, and it was just a onetime thing. Why do you even have to create that one time, when you are already in love with someone else?
Your response to him should be:
“If you desired sex, you could have gotten it from me. You don’t have feelings for her, but, you do have feelings for me, right? How could you love me and also cheat me at the same time?”
“Your sex with her mightn’t mean anything for you but, your unfaithfulness and dishonesty meant a lot to me.”
She and I are just good friends
“We are just good friends, and nothing is going on between us. You are getting insecure for no reason. We hang out as friends, and I like her company. That’s all.”
When you ask him about her, he would say she is just a friend. Now, the question is who is this friend that you don’t know anything of?
You should reply to this statement and confront your cheating boyfriend as:
“You have never told me about her before. I know all your friends who they are and where do they live. You have brought your friends home time to time for dinner. Why didn’t I ever get to meet this friend of yours? If she is just a friend, then why didn’t you tell me about her before?”
I didn’t mean to hurt you
“I never thought you would find out about my affair. My intention wasn’t to hurt you. My only love is you, and if I hurt you, it was purely unintentional.”
Wait. What? You plant an affair outside your relationship, and your cheating was unintentional?
This is just a nonsense excuse he is using to stay safe from the confrontation.
This is how you should respond to your trash boyfriend:
“1st thing, you never loved me. If you ever did, you wouldn’t have started an affair outside our relationship. I don’t care about what your intentions were. You cheated me, and I can’t trust you anymore. Your intention was never to hurt me, but your action did exactly opposite.”
I am not happy with our relationship
“I don’t think we should stay together anymore. The love that was between us is nowhere to be found now. I love you, but I am not in love with you. I needed love, and I got it from her. She gets me in a way that you don’t.”
I will give 8 out of 10 to this justified statement. Wow, what an excuse. But, again it’s just hogwash.
This is one of the things cheaters say when confronted, because they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions, and want to throw the blame on you instead.
You caught him red-handed, and now he is blaming you to get out of this situation. He is a bloody ass cheater, and he doesn’t deserve your love.
Reply to this con man as:
“If you weren’t happy with me, you should have told me. We could have figure out something to save our failing relationship.”
“But, no! You didn’t think you should tell me. Before blaming me, think twice about what you are saying. You are a cheater and a coward who doesn’t know how to be faithful.”
My affair never got physical
“She and I are just hanging out. We never got physically close. You are hyper reacting over a simple thing.”
Well, he says he never got physically close with his affair, but again, is he telling the truth?
Let’s suppose whatever comes from his mouth is true. Now, why is he getting closer with someone if he already has a girlfriend? He mightn’t have cheated you physically, but he is definitely cheating you emotionally.
“You mightn’t have gotten into bed with her till now, but you are decidedly planning on doing it sooner. I don’t even know if you are telling the truth, because there is no way I will trust you again.”
“Once a cheater, always a cheater?” Is it true?
Well, I don’t believe so.
He cheated you once and broke your trust. It’s a normal thing for you to think that he will undoubtedly cheat you again.
But that doesn’t always happen. He cheated you once doesn’t mean that he will do the same again.
If he comes up clean, tells you everything clearly, then I think you should give him a second chance.
I know forgiving isn’t that easy. But, if he is genuinely feeling sorry for his evil deeds, you should give him another chance. Assuming he won’t cheat you again, forgive him.
You can break up with him or continue being in the relationship. It’s totally up to you about how you will process your relationship after that.
If you have finally thought about ending your relationship with him, this article about dealing with a breakup will help you a lot.
My personal suggestion for you:
A guy cheated on you doesn’t mean all the guys will be the same as him. There are people out there who take relationships very seriously. Never get afraid to fall in love again.
Congratulations on breaking up with a cheater.
All the best for the path to finding your soul mate.