This post was most recently updated on August 23rd, 2020
Discovering that you have been cheated on by your spouse is very painful.
Relationships are built on trust, and when the person you trusted the most becomes unfaithful, it shatters your heart.
The purpose of marriage is to stay together forever. Yet, some people don’t understand it and become unfaithful.
They cheat on you and say a lot of things when they are caught. Things cheaters say when confronted are absurd and nonsensical.
They can’t just cheat on you and act like everything is normal and nothing has happened. Cheating is unacceptable. They shouldn’t blame others and take full responsibility for their actions.
It’s your right to ask them questions, and they are obliged to give you the answers. So, here I have written ten questions for you to ask your unfaithful spouse.
How could you?
How could you do this to me? We were supposed to be together, weren’t we?
How did you permit yourself to cheat on me in the first place? I thought we were entirely clear about our future, and we didn’t leave space for a third person to come and interfere. I trusted you the most, and you took me for granted. How could you cheat on me?
You should ask your cheating partner about how could they break your trust and be with someone else.
Do you realize how much you have hurt me?
There hasn’t gone a day when I haven’t thought about you and our future. I was pleased with you.
Your infidelity crushed all the dreams that we saw together. You had promised you would never hurt me, and here you are distressing my life.
- While cheating on me with your affair, did you even think about me?
- Did you think how much it will shatter my feelings when I will find out about your affair?
- I am hurt, and you are responsible for that.
You partner should realize how much they have hurt you and crushed your feelings. They cannot just get away with it.
What happened to the “Till Death Do Us Part”?
We took vows in front of God and promised each other that we would never get separated.
- Weren’t we destined to stay together forever till the death parted us?
- How could you be so irresponsible and break the vows? You are a coward and nothing else.
When you took your vows, you made a promise to love and cherish each other for the rest of your lives. You should ask why they promised if they couldn’t adhere to it. Moreover, they should respect their till death do us part vows.
Did you even think about our kids for a moment?
You didn’t only cheat on me. You cheated on our kids too.
- What are you going to tell them when they find out?
- You might think you will lie to them, but again, is that good parenting?
- Have you ever thought about how your infidelity will affect the future of the kids?
You failed as a parent, and you failed as a spouse. As a matter of fact, you don’t even deserve to be with the kids.
You should make them realize that their affair is not only going to strike you, but also affect the psychology of the kids.
Do you even love me anymore?
No matter what you do, I will always have a soft side on my heart for you. I love you. The real question here is, “do you love me too?”
I don’t think you do because if you did, you wouldn’t have planted an affair outside our marriage.
Your partner must tell you whether they care about you or not if they don’t, then there is no point in staying together.
Do you have feelings for your affair?
It broke my heart when I found out that you have been on cheating me for the last two years. I suppose two years is enough to grow feelings for someone.
- If it’s not me that you love, then is it them?
- Do you have feelings for your affair?
- Did both of you ever discuss a future together?
- Are you emotionally involved with them?
Your partner may not give you an honest answer to these questions, but even then, you should be able to get an idea of how they feel from their body language and words. Asking if they have feelings for their affair is one of the musts to ask questions for your unfaithful spouse.
Did you get physical with them?
Did you have sex with them? If you desired sex, you could have gotten it from me, why did you have to cheat on me for it?
You should let your partner know that sex with their affair mightn’t mean anything for them but, their unfaithfulness and dishonesty meant a lot to you.
Are you not satisfied with our relationship?
Was I not giving enough attention to you? Our conversations have never been one-sided. We have always talked through every issue, haven’t we?
- What caused you to cheat on me?
- Was it the dissatisfaction from the relationship?
If your spouse wasn’t satisfied with you, they should have told you directly.
Furthermore, if they truly loved you, they would have tried to find ways to save a failing relationship. They wouldn’t have cheated on you with someone else.
Why did you lie to me about your affair?
When I asked you a few months ago about them, you told me they are your colleagues from your work. You said you two are just good friends and there is no need for me to get insecure.
- Why did you lie to me about them?
- Didn’t you feel ashamed of keeping me in the dark?
Ask them why they didn’t tell you about their affair. If you had known before, you would have taken action earlier.
Are you feeling guilty?
- Do you feel like you have made a mistake?
- Was it just a onetime thing, or are you planning on doing it again and again? I am hurt, and there is no way I am going to trust your words like I used to do before.
- But still, are you genuinely feeling sorry for your unfaithfulness?
Guilt is a complicated emotion. If your cheater spouse is feeling guilty of their wrongdoings, you should reconsider your thoughts about getting separated.
There you have it, the 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse.
When you get the answers from them, it will be easier for you to figure out things.
Betrayal is a traumatic experience.
Your feelings are hurt, and you want to go far away from your unfaithful spouse.
But, you should calm down and take a moment to analyze the situation.
Likewise, you should think twice before you pack their bag and throw them out of the house as well as out of your life.
Don’t rush into any decision because that will hurt you again.