This post was most recently updated on November 13th, 2020
Are you going to have a love marriage or an arranged one? The questions that you want to ask a guy before getting married depend upon what kind of marriage you guys are having.
If it’s a love marriage, then you would already know a lot of things about him. Many questions would have been already asked and answered by either of you in your relationship.
However, if it’s an arranged marriage, chances are the only thing you know about him is his name and nothing much.
You are going to spend your whole life with this guy, and you know almost nothing about him.
Don’t you think you should ask some questions before getting married to him?
There will be questions from his side too, so you should be prepared for the answers, and your answers should be sincere and honest.
It’s his right to know about you, as much as it’s your right to know about him.
On that note, what kind of things should you talk about before getting married?
Here are 18 questions that you should ask a guy before you get married.
What does marriage mean to you?
This is the first and foremost question you should ask before getting married. What does marriage mean to him? His views on marriage will help you know about him better.
- How do you define marriage?
- Is marriage important to you?
- Do you believe in love after marriage?
- Would we be only husband and wife or best friends too?
- How would you look at the signs of a failing marriage?
It’s important to know what a guy thinks about marriage. If he thinks of marriage as just living together, having sex and bearing children, then he hasn’t clearly understood the purpose of marriage.
Are you ready for this marriage?
Does he seem really ready and excited about getting married? If he isn’t feeling comfortable around you, then there might be something you should know about him.
- Are you prepared for this marriage?
- Are you happy and excited?
There is always a case when you don’t want to get married, but you are forced to do it.
If he says he is happy about this marriage, but you don’t see any excitement in his face, then there is a chance he is getting married without his consent.
- Do you have family pressure for getting married?
- Do you not want to get married to me?
- Are you not ready to get married at this time?
- Are you in a relationship with someone else?
If he is not willingly ready to get married, you should help him out by making things easier for him.
If he isn’t ready but still gets married to you, your marriage mightn’t last long.
You should also ask questions to yourself before getting married too.
Do you have a girlfriend?
This is another essential question to ask a guy before you get married. Knowing about his current relationship status helps you see a clear path towards your marriage.
In case he has a girlfriend, ask him questions like:
- Since how long you are in a relationship with her?
- How serious are you for her?
- If you already have a girlfriend, then why are you getting married to me?
- Are you leaving your girlfriend because of family pressure?
In case he doesn’t have a girlfriend, ask him:
- Why are you not in a relationship?
- Don’t you like being in a relationship?
- Have you ever proposed someone?
- Has anyone ever proposed to you?
If he recently broke up with his girlfriend, then you should ask him these questions:
- What was the reason for the break-up?
- Did it end in good terms or bad?
- Who broke up first?
- Are you still in contact with her?
- How sure are you about not getting back with your ex?
- Are you confident that your ex won’t come back?
When you have answers to these questions, you can think and make plans accordingly. If he has a girlfriend but still getting married to you, their current relationship might create a problem in your marriage in the future.
Have you ever been married?
Usually, in an arranged marriage, the first thing a guy will tell is whether he was married earlier or not. If he doesn’t say anything regarding that topic, then he mightn’t have been married before.
But, to be sure, ask him if he was married before.
If he says yes, then there come two scenarios.
In case he was divorced:
- How long have you been together before getting separated?
- Are you lawfully and legally divorced?
- Do you two have any kids?
- Who is having the kids now?
In case his wife died:
- When did it happen?
- Do you have any kids?
- Was your marriage love or arranged?
How would you handle the ups and downs in our marriage?
There mightn’t be a single relationship in this world, where the couples have never fought, quarreled, or discussed on a particular topic with each other.
Dispute and conflict are everyday things in a relationship nowadays. What matters the most is, how do you deal with it?
- How is your temper?
- How would we solve our relationship problems?
- What if we couldn’t love each other?
- How will we handle conflict and rough patches?
- How would you try to save our failing relationship, if we failed as a couple?
Asking him these above questions is necessary to know about his personality and his problem-solving skills.
How do you define your sex life?
In most of the countries, asking about his sex life might be considered as ill-breeding and characterless, but if you are going to marry an unknown person, you deserve to know better about him.
Reasonably ask these questions so that he doesn’t start judging you in the wrong way.
- Have you ever had sex?
Apparently, asking directly about whether he is a virgin or not might be rude, so you should bend the question and ask him if he ever had sex?
- Do you enjoy watching pornography?
- Is sex important to run a marriage smoothly?
- What if I refuse to have sex with you? Would you force me by then?
- Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences, and fears?
It’s not always necessary to ask about sex life to a guy before getting married, but knowing earlier is still better and healthy.
How healthy are you?
Do you want to get married to an unhealthy person? Well, I guess nobody would want to.
If you love a guy, then you mightn’t look for his physique and body.
Similarly, his health condition mightn’t stop you from getting married to him.
But, in an arranged marriage, the case is totally different.
You parents would never make you marry an unhealthy person whose body is full of diseases.
Your questions to him should be:
- How would you describe the current state of your health?
- Have you ever had an operation or surgery?
- Do you take any medicine on a daily basis?
- Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease?
Asking these questions is essential before getting married. If he has STDs, it will hamper you and your kids’ health too.
If you think he isn’t healthy enough for you, you can say no to your marriage with him.
What are your thoughts on children?
Everybody loves children, right?
I mean, who doesn’t? They are the one to carry on your legacy.
Nonetheless, some people don’t want to have kids. Like, ever!
You mightn’t be among those people, but what about him? Are you sure he likes to have kids?
You have just met him so that you mightn’t know about him.
That’s why you better ask him about his thoughts on children before getting married to him.
If he says he doesn’t want kids, ask him:
- Why don’t you want to have kids?
- Are you unable to have children?
- Would you adopt if you were unable to have a child naturally?
- Would you feel fulfilled without kids?
- What are your views on abortion?
If he says he loves to have kids, ask him:
- How many kids do you think we should have?
- 2 kids would be enough, won’t they?
- Where would we raise our kids?
- Where would we send our kids for schooling?
In case he says he doesn’t like to have kids ask him, why not? After knowing his views on kids, you can decide whether or not to marry him.
What do you do for a living?
Before getting married to him, make sure he would be able to provide for you. So, asking what he does is important.
- Where do you work?
- What is your expertise in work?
- Are you working on your desired field?
- Have you ever been fired from your work?
If he works abroad, ask him:
- How long have you been working there?
- How much do you earn?
- Would you be able to take me there?
- Would I be able to work in there?
- What about kids? Can they go with us?
How secure are you, financially?
If he works, then he earns a certain amount of money. Till this day, the money might be enough for him alone to fulfill his needs.
But, now he is going to get married. The money that he earns mightn’t be able to fulfill the needs of two people.
Also, if he keeps earning the same certain amount of money, then how would he be able to provide for the kids?
So asking about the money stuff is an important question that you should ask a guy before getting married to him.
- How much money do you make monthly?
- Would that money fulfill our necessities?
- Are you in any debts?
- Would you let me work after our marriage?
- What are some of your financial goals?
- Do you have health insurance?
What is your academic qualification?
If you are a graduate student, then you would also want your husband to be of the same academic level or higher. If your field of studies is the same, then you already have so many things in common.
- What is your qualification level?
- What is your major subject?
- How good are you with your studies?
- What are your academic goals?
How is your relationship with your family?
After getting married to him, you are also going to be a part of his family. If he isn’t in good terms with his family, then it might be difficult for you to adjust with them.
Ask him these following questions regarding his family:
- How many members are there in your family?
- Is your family joint or single?
- How many siblings do you have?
- How much influence do your parents still have over your decisions?
- Are you close to your family?
- Does your family have a family business?
- Would we be living with them after getting married?
- How much do you give from your earnings to the family?
- What role will your family play in our life together?
Do you have any addiction habit?
Addiction not only affects the victim, but it also ruins the life of their family members too. So, if he is addicted to something, you should know before getting married.
- Have you ever suffered from an addiction?
- Do you smoke?
- Also, do you consume alcohol?
- Do you gamble?
- Have you ever been told you have an addiction problem?
- Have you admitted to a drug rehabilitation centre?
What are your favorite things?
Everyone has likes and dislikes. If you are going to marry him, you should know about his hobbies and what he does in his leisure time.
- Which game do you like to play the most?
- Who is your favorite movie star?
- What kind of food is your favorite?
- I like dark blue. What’s your favorite color?
- What is your favorite style of music?
- Which political party do you support?
When he tells you his favorite things, he would also ask to say to yours. If some of your things match, then it will help you know each other better.
What is your aim in life?
You would want your husband to be a dedicated person, won’t you?
Ask him about what he wants to be in his life. If he doesn’t have any aim in his life, then you should really reconsider getting married to him.
- What do you want to achieve in your life?
- How focused are you towards your aim?
- How would you want me to help you to reach your aim?
Would you help me achieve my aim in life?
You do have an aim in life, don’t you?
Would you let your marriage stop your dedication towards your future?
I don’t think so.
I am sure you would love to continue what you do even after the marriage.
When you get married to him, you would have to compromise on a lot of things. Is he going to tell you to drop your aim or will he help you continue it?
Why don’t you ask him when you have the chance?
- Would you support me to pursue my dreams?
- Do I have to stop dreaming after the marriage?
- Would you respect the determination that I have towards my aim?
- What would you do if your family tells you to keep me at home to do household work?
- Do I have to stay as a housewife, or can I continue doing my work?
If you have to stop following your passion after you get married to him, then I don’t think you should marry him.
Are you a racist person?
This is an important thing to know about a guy before marrying him. If he is racist, then you are going to have a lot of problems in your life with him.
You might have friends from all around the globe, having different caste, race, and religion.
In case your husband is a racist, he wouldn’t let you get involved with your friends from different race and ethnicity. So, before getting married, know him better by asking these questions.
- What are your views on racism?
- Do you introduce yourself as a racist person?
- Can I bring my friends home who are from a different race?
- How did you become a racist guy?
- Don’t you have friends from other races?
- How would you feel if our child dated someone from a different race or ethnicity?
Would we be comfortable with our different religious beliefs?
If you two are from different religions, you might face difficulty in adjusting with the society. You have to make sure that wherever you are going; your faith and your religious belief would be respected.
- What are your views on religion?
- Do I have to follow your religion and drop mine after getting married to you?
- Would your family accept my religion?
- Which religion would we teach our child?
- Are you going to get involved and celebrate my religious festivals with me?
If you are going to be disrespected from his family and community because of your different religious belief, I suggest you not to marry him.
Similarly, if he brings religion in front of your marriage, then you deserve better than him.
You just read 18 significant questions and their sub-questions that you should ask a guy before getting married to him.
With these questions and their answers, you can know a lot about him. Also, he would know a lot about you too.
If he honestly gives you all the answers, then you should come forward and accept his marriage proposal.
Prepare a marriage license, get married, get your marriage certificate, and live a happy life.
If you are wondering about the differences between marriage certificate and a marriage license, then here is another article for you to read: Marriage License Vs. Marriage Certificate | Differences Explained.
Have a happy life ahead.
Best of luck.