This post was most recently updated on September 21st, 2020
No matter how rational your parents are, it’s always hard to convince them to love marriage. Do you know why? It’s because love marriages are still considered as impractical and childish acts in our society.
Let me tell you a story. A friend of mine recently got married. It was a love marriage. When she had gone to her parents to tell them about her boyfriend, she couldn’t do it in the first attempt.
Courageously, in the 5th attempt, she went to them and told them about her love.
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Do you know what had happened?
They denied her proposal without even thinking for a second. Believe me, I was right there, and both of her parents said “no” at the same time.
Fun fact is, her parents also did love marriage, and they were saying no to it.
I had never thought her parents would deny her from getting married to the one she loves. I was surprised. They might have their own reasons for saying “no” in the first place, but later they agreed to the love marriage.
Eventually, she convinced her parents and got married to the love of her life. She is living happily now.
Her parents are educated, and they did love marriage, and still, they weren’t sure about it.
Think about how hard it would be for those people to convince their parents who consider love marriage as a sin.
Today in this article, we will learn about how to convince your parents for love marriage.
The whole truth and nothing but the truth
Do you want to get married to your boyfriend?
You have to tell everything about him honestly to your parents. They are going to let their daughter marry someone whom they know nothing about.
So give them every detail about your boyfriend, and those details must be true.
- His Name and Surname
(If you are from Asia, your parents would care about his surname the most.)
- His relationship history (If he was married before or not.)
- His caste and religion (never lie to them about this)
- When and where you guys met?
- Tell them about your boyfriend’s parents. (About what they do and where they come from)
- Tell them about his qualities, educational background, and professional achievements.
Don’t lie about anything. They will ask you a lot of questions about him; make sure you give them genuine answers. This gives your parents a signal that you are serious about him.
Let them know you would be happy with him
Your parents care about you very much. They wouldn’t want you to marry someone who can’t make you happy. You have to let them know that the guy you love, cares about you a lot, and will always make you happy.
- Let them know he really loves you.
- Tell them that you two have already planned a future.
- Tell them that your boyfriend is a very dedicated man to his family.
Your happiness matters to your parents a lot. When they realize that your boyfriend cares and loves you as much as they do, they will get convinced for the love marriage.
Tell your parents to meet him at least once
Without meeting someone, you can’t really know a lot about a person. You will obviously tell a lot of things about your boyfriend to your parents, but they won’t be fully satisfied until they meet him themselves.
So here is what you have to do:
- Fix a date for the meeting
- The place could be your house, his house, or somewhere else like a restaurant or a coffee shop.
- Tell your boyfriend to come with flowers or some gifts.
- He should go well dressed and well-groomed.
- Your boyfriend should sound wise and look serious about your relationship.
Let him answer the questions your parents would ask. If your parents find him right for you, then they will be convinced about your love marriage in no time.
Show proof that your boyfriend is financially stable
One of the many questions your parents will ask you is, “What does the guy do for a living?”
The answer to this question shouldn’t be, he lives with his parents, and they give him the pocket money. No, absolutely not.
If he doesn’t have any job, work, or a plan, then your parents would never say yes to your marriage.
When they ask you what he does for a living, they want to know if he can provide for you or not. They want to know how wealthy he is.
- Tell your parents about his work.
- Let them know how much your boyfriend is earning each month.
- They won’t believe just by your words. Show them proof that he is financially stable.
- Tell them everything about where he lives and where he works.
- Tell them he can provide for you and you won’t have to face any problems in the future.
If your boyfriend doesn’t have a work or job, then before going to your parents, tell him to find a job.
There is no way your parents will agree for love marriage if your guy doesn’t have money to feed you.
Gain support from your Siblings
When your siblings support you, convincing your parents becomes easier and more comfortable. Your parents mightn’t believe you, but when your siblings also say good things about your boyfriend, your parents are forced to think.
- Your siblings would encourage you to walk to your parents and tell them about your boyfriend.
- They would support you in every step.
- When your siblings put extra pressure on your parents about letting you have a love marriage, chances are your parents will say “Yes.”
Your siblings will want you to be happy. So, they will definitely help you with convincing your parents.
Take help from someone elder
You tried to convince your parents, they didn’t get satisfied. You took help from your siblings, but nah, same thing happened. What do you do now?
You go to gain support from someone whom your parents respect and won’t disagree with them. Like your grandparents or your parent’s elder siblings. They will act as a middle man, and things become more comfortable for you.
But, for this, you have to convince the middle man first. If they don’t agree with you, then your parents also won’t.
- If the middle man is convinced, then they will convince your parents.
- They will tell things like, “If we can see best in that guy, why can’t you?”
- They will put pressure on your parents to let you marry the guy you love.
Your parents won’t be able to say “no” to them, which mean they will say “yes” to your love marriage.
If you think that your grandparents, relatives or your sibling can help you in convincing your parents for your marriage, then don’t hesitate to involve them.
Don’t meet any other guy your parents want you to meet
When your parents tell you to meet a guy, don’t meet him. Period.
You are trying to make your parents convinced about your love marriage. If you would go and meet that guy, it will show that you are not serious enough with your current relationship.
- If you go and meet that guy, it will give your parents an impression that you could change your mind and then they will pressurize you.
- If you don’t go, your parents won’t tell you again to meet someone. That’s what you need, right? So work on that.
- Be persistent so that your parents realize that you genuinely love your partner. Make them think.
Sound practical and serious
“Dad-Mom, I love a guy, and I want to get married to him.”
Nope, that’s not how you convince your parents. You have to be more serious than that.
- Plan properly before approaching them.
- Don’t try to make things funny, because then things won’t sound serious.
- Things you say should be practically possible.
- Act like a matured adult and let your parents know that you are grown up, and you are serious about your boyfriend.
If your parents don’t find your relationship serious, then they won’t agree with it. So be practical.
Try not to use harsh words and be calm
When your parents don’t agree with you, you will obviously get angry. You might get carried away and start using harsh words. Well, that would be a great mistake.
- You need to be calm and listen to what they say first.
- You should be patience and tell them what you want to say.
- Never use harsh or irrational words.
- Try to talk logic with them.
- Have a healthy debate with your parents and teach them about what they don’t know.
To convince your parents, you need to have patience and maintain your sanity at all times.
Most of the teenagers take rash decisions and leave their house. They get married to their boyfriend without letting their parents know.
Worst of all, some of them commit suicide.
You should act wisely and be polite to your parents. Try and make them understand your side of the story.
Suggest your parents convert your love marriage into an arranged marriage
“What will relatives say when they find out that you have a boyfriend and you want to have a love marriage?”
Well it’s a commonly asked question, isn’t it?
If your parents say “what will relatives think,” rather than just saying “no” then your parents are already convinced. They are just worrying about what other people will think.
If you come to this point, then here is what you have to do:
- Convert the love marriage to arrange marriage.
(You don’t need to tell your relatives or neighbor about your current relationship.)
- Plan everything as an arranged marriage.
- Tell your boyfriend to do so too.
- You will get married to the love of your life, you will have your love marriage, and none of your relatives will get any gossip to talk.
Be calm and help your parents understand that lying to your relatives isn’t that bad if it is done for the good cause.
Don’t ever give up
You tried harder, but you couldn’t convince your parents. What to do now? Marry the one your parents say? Would you be happy with him? Will you be able to forget your boyfriend?
I don’t think you would. So never give up. Keep fighting for the love of your life.
- If your parents suggest you to meet another person, strictly deny it.
- Despite the obstacles your parents create, you have to remain dedicated to your love and do not give up at any cost.
- Your boyfriend should be fully committed towards you too. You might already know him better, but I suggest you ask him these questions before getting married. When you get the answers to these questions, you can plan your life accordingly.
No matter what, your parents will always love you. If you will be polite and patience with them, sooner or later, they will eventually come around.
Just think about it. How could they agree with your love marriage, if they have never met the guy or know who he is? How could any parents?
So, despite getting angry with them, try to make them understand. Let them know who he is and let them know that you will be happy with him. There is not a single parent in this world, who wouldn’t want their kids to be happy.
You should have the right to choose your partner yourself. Likewise, your parents also have the right to choose their son-in-law, don’t they?
Don’t make them sad by choosing the wrong guy.
Prove them wrong by making the right decision.
Best of luck.